A response: What’s one dumb thing you used to believe in?

This post is a response to Danielle LaPorte’s burning question: What’s one dumb thing you used to believe in?

I used to believe I needed the answers before I could claim a seat at the table. 

I worried so much about how and what that I didn’t think to ask why. Have you ever heard that the best students are the ones that question their teachers? I didn’t learn to ask questions or challenge a mode of thinking until my mid 30s, after a series of humbling life events. You know, the kind of events that strip away the parts of identity best-loved by ego and knowing it all.

I didn’t know shit. None of us really do, but I didn’t know that, then. Instead of embracing the unknown as a lifetime of discovery and adventure, I tried to limit my exposure to what I didn’t know. Ha!

I worried so much about having answers that I waited to be called on instead of putting my hand up and asking what I really wanted to know. I depended on other people to tell me what I needed to know.

I mistook problem solving for strategy. I thought problem solving was a strength, and presented myself as an accessory to bigger thinkers. I placed my value in getting someone else’s vision from A to B.

I worried so much about being right and knowing the answers that I didn’t ask for help.

Here’s what I’ve learned since I stopped believing in this one dumb thing

Answers are about approval. Questions are about knowledge. Now I ask the questions I want to have answered.

Asking for help is how collaboration starts. Now I seek out collaborators instead of waiting for them to find me. And I seek them out based on the questions we can ask together.

Asking for help means saying things out loud so I can do something about them.

I’m not your problem solver. I’m not your expert.

I’m an explorer. A seeker. Because I stopped believing in a single dumb thing.